Antu

222.5... but breaking it for dim sum.

Sun, 18 May 2003 13:30:45 GMT

i think the pentabosol is gonna be a go. i know i'm a little burnt out right now but i think in general it feels better, especially, somehow, mood-wise. and i don't think i've had too many blood sugar crashes since the first few days. but i do have blood sugar problems even on the diet now... related to sleep deprivation, at this moment, i think.

223... it's working...

Tue, 13 May 2003 13:36:25 GMT

ok, well. since i've been lowcarbing, i can't call it water weight. However, I've also been Really GOod about exercise the past week or two and this may have been about to come off anyway. Right? I certainly didn't eat any differently yesterday than i was before. But this morning my appetite was pretty low. I incinerated a burger and had that with my coffee and that's it. since it was so well-done, it probably didn't have much fat left; it was dry.

We'll see how it's going in a month. If I've lost, say, 7 lbs by the time I've been on this for 30 days, then I'll keep with it.

224.5, starting pentabosol

Sat, 10 May 2003 13:53:19 GMT

ok, been awhile since I've posted here. I've even considered the 2nd journal to be unnecessary. But I wanted to watch this supplement, or at least record the start of it.

It's supposed to work with a low-carb diet, it's promoted by the Drs. Eades. They did a double-blind study and showed impressive results. No known side effects in the study or in studies of any of the components of the supplement.

Things have started to move for me but I've been hovering around 227-229 since last July and I'm tired of it. I'll concede that I've had more trouble sticking to it, taking breaks nearly monthly... but part of that is that plateaus are highly demotivating.

I've been real good about exercise in the last 2 weeks-- last Sunday I moved those boxes... prior to that I took out the DDR for the first time in a while. As soon as I was done being sore from moving boxes I went and did the USO package-stuffing thing that left me immobile from soreness, went to the chiropractor in the morning, and then proceeded to spend the rest of the day prepping and painting at my parents' hous. (to wake up sore again today... but somehow I think the fairly easy, smooth motions of painting probably worked things out rather than working out things. if that makes any sense. tho i did sweat a lot from workin'.)

So the plateau started to move while the pentabosol was en route. Still think it's a good idea to try the stuff. I started this morning; it's not too nasty. It says to take on empty stomach and avoid eating for a half hour-- but it's an hour and a half later now and somehow I'm not hungry at all. The later I have breakfast, the better anyway, because I want my pancakes to last me out towards 3pm because of my schedule.

a little history

Thu, 06 Feb 2003 17:32:42 GMT

so. after a Feb 1 restart, and hitting 223 today, I went searching through my old log and the antu_diet journal for some perspective on where I'm at. I wasn't sure why 223 felt like a relief, or like a "normal" weight, or "back on track", or something... so I thought I'd look.

First time I hit 223 since being on the diet: 09/08/01.

Well, now, that's just depressing. That and I spent the beginning of 2002 with very few entries, but jan 7 was 208 and apr 9 was 207.5 (these two and all entries in between comment "it's been around 210 but it's 208 today!"). In May I broke through to 203 but on May 31st I was 208 again. So, my average weight for 2003 has been 15-20 lbs over the same time last year.

Restarts of the diet since then:
07/8/02 (after Europe)
08/19/02 (true induction after Europe)
12/01/02 (after Thanksgiving)
01/07/03 (after new year's)
02/01/03 (after the morning after the party)

My restarts are too frequent. If I recall correctly, the reason 2002 was so stable was that I hadn't broken the diet since the previous thanksgiving. It wasn't till May that I was rewarded with another 5 lbs off, and a whole lot of size 14 summer clothes that I got all of a month's use of.

Other times hitting the range of 223:
07/09/02 - 222 (right after restarting after Europe)
09/12/02 - 223 (even then, it seemed like a "back on track" number, after back problems killed my exercise)
10/07/02 - 224 (after resolving at the end of sept to get more exercise)

Conclusions: 208 is the next plateau. I've been considering the 203 reached in May low the pre-Europe weight but 208 is much more fair. In May the goal of hitting 199 seemed sooooo close. Certainly by the end of the year, I thought. What a disappointment to be just over 232 at the end of the year.

Anything over 230 makes me feel really upset. This goes all the way back to Oct 2000, when 230 was the last weight before I broke the diet due to being sick and let the lapse continue through the holidays and didn't get back on track till the new year, and didn't get back to 230 until July 01. Every low weight in 2001, until 230, felt like progress, but empty, because I was still catching up to where I had been last October.

I'm experiencing the same problem with the 203 number, but I should give myself a break and make it 208, and being at 223 means I'm on the way there, right? Still feels like, yay, I'm back to where I was last September-- not just last september, but also september a year and a half ago... an empty victory at best. And last September isn't even my low for this diet.

and i accuse my *mom* of obsessing on numbers. at least I'm obsessing on my *low* weights along the way, not my all-time high of 284. if mom knew that number, she'd never let me hear the end of it. even if I have put 60 lbs between myself and that number. And I haven't been within 50 lbs of that high since... May 2001. That's something, having kept 50 lbs off for a year and a half... it's... something to be proud of, right?

On the other hand, I tell people I've lost 60 lbs in 3 years, since I started the diet 11/5/99 and I am indeed 60 lbs lighter than I was on that date... well, now it's 3 years and 3 months. except reality is, I lost 50 lbs in the first year, and at the beginning of this year, any progress I'd made since then had been erased. I've really been struggling and struggling and struggling. I'm winning... but by very small margins. just barely. Huge setbacks followed by small and empty victories.

I'm longing to be doing as well as I did last year, but even last year it was 5 months of extraordinarily good behavior with no results as a reward. Followed by 8 months of crap, apparently. The reason I've been holding onto the 203 number was that those 5 lbs were the only forward progress the entire year, progress which was erased by the end of the month. And the year before that, it was all playing catch-up. (except for 12 lbs I lost between August and December, which I completely un-lost before the following August.)

It is so hard to keep going sometimes. Am I really being hard on myself? Them's the facts.

But the health benefits other than weight loss to low-carbing mean I have no choice but to keep trying. All this effort with such small rewards, but: I am not diabetic.

223... back on track?

Thu, 06 Feb 2003 15:43:32 GMT

But I'm dehydrated, so that's a low figure.

And I need to play some DDR tho. Last time was... last wednesday?

Bad on carbs, good on DDR

Thu, 30 Jan 2003 03:30:16 GMT

I'm getting better, really. All the frozen deepfryable stuff is gone, i did that on purpose. I managed to resist the pizza lunch even tho I'd forgotten to bring my chicken and all they had that I could eat was salad and since it was actually a *meeting* plus lunch I couldn't skip and I got to sit there, hungry, while the room was full of pizza smell...

So, I made up for it by actually DDRing. It was 45 minutes, but not yer normal 45 minutes. See, my 2nd Ignition pad arrived, so I played at least 30 of those minutes in double mode. If you're not familiar with DDR, that means, 1 player, 2 pads.

My new pad is too sensitive in the center-- I kept hitting arrows unintentionally. Which is fine during the game, but during the selection screens between the games, it kept putting me in maniac mode. The last thing I played was afronova primeval in-- oops!-- maniac mode. I did clear the level, anyway. and then I turned the system off, and immediately gulped down enough water so fast I wasn't sure I'd hold it down. But I've caught my breath now.

I'm up to getting an A in Basic mode on afronova primeval. but still. At least it was still in Little mode. (whole beats only)

I went from failing in the middle of "burnin' the floor" the first time in double mode, to full max combo my 4th time. It's nice to be good at something, but that's freakin' scary, even to *me*.

A little booze before this would generally seem a bad idea, but I'm in the zone! And last time I had a little booze first I was in the zone, too. Obviously not something to overdo. I'd intended to get a soda before I spiked it so it was a 32 oz soda with a little booze in it, probably not even as strong as the average beer in concentration.

I'm still feeling bad about the carbs, but I'm not going nuts and if the guilt keeps me on the exercise, then overall, what's the problem? Actually I'm relying on the exercise to beat down the carb cravings so I can get back on track more quickly... it also makes induction go faster and less painfully.

And it's not just guilt that motivated me... yesterday I had burnin' the floor in my head, today it was AM-3P. Only way to play the song is to turn on the game! (AM-3P isn't bad in double mode) What an evil, evil game. ;

overdid DDR... last I checked, 225.

Wed, 15 Jan 2003 05:24:32 GMT

well, I got 15 minutes into DDRMAX in workout mode before I got bored... they make you go through too much to unlock stuff. either that or there's just not that much stuff in it. but its graphics are much better. I just don't find the songs that playable. i'll admit it's possibly because I'm less familiar with it.

Anyway (short attention span here) I played about 15 minutes of that. then I think about 40 minutes of Konamix.

Well, I can't help it! I got the max combo on dynamite rave twice. missed exactly 1 step on "drop the bomb". And got a 216 combo (the max for basic mode) on matsuri japan.

Also, I was getting out of workout mode into game mode. But game mode on konamix seems not to be the traditional kind where high scores ask for initials.

I should start switching my workout mode to 3 stars (basic) instead of the 2 I've been at all this time (little). I'm losing interest in stuff that's not challenging enough.

But, I failed La Senorita Virtual. Not even close. But it's a 7-footer.

Started!

Tue, 07 Jan 2003 14:16:32 GMT

yesterday I was low-carb all day.

today I got on the scale. which had said from last time I checked 232.25. and i got to slide it down to 227.

I felt awful all day yesterday but, other than sleep deprivation, i'm feeling alright so far today.

and i didn't mention that i DDRed on saturday for 1/2 hour timed by the workout program, plus about 10 minutes untimed in game mode.

poor food choices...

Fri, 27 Dec 2002 03:46:43 GMT

my brother left a message on my machine on tuesday, he was laughing and saying he and his family were having a great time making poor food choices all day and wanted to know what time to show up for dinner.

I made some poor food choices today. I'm not having a great time.

I did not know that new, spicier nacho-flavored Doritos have MSG as about the 3rd ingredient.

ok, i knew i was already pretty full before i thought i'd make a little root beer float for dessert.

sugar cookies, which was the original unstoppable craving that led me by the nose into giant in the first place, were indeed soft and chewy but they were odd-- they were frosted, and the cookie part was not sweet at all. but the cookie texture was good and all that.

Water, despite an earlier discussion, does not actually solve all problems. It really doesn't do anything for the "I was sooo full 3 hours ago and my head hurts and I'm sure there's too much sugar in my system and water would be a pretty good thing and I can't sleep and I have acid reflux and i'm considering something alcoholic to sleep and that doesn't make me a bad person does it so i'm gonna have a little water to settle my stomach and head and then i can think about alcohol... because i know better than to need water and drink alcohol instead."

well, after having a little water all i can think about was that it didn't help and it didn't leave any room for anything that might help.

The reason I haven't been itching and stressing to get back on the diet as I usually am after this long of a lapse, is that the whole time I was sick I really wasn't overeating so badly, and I wasn't feeling like the goodyear blimp, and my appetite had not gone out of control and it just wasn't an earth-shattering emergency to get back on. The reason I went to giant at all was that I figured I could go to the end of the weekend still, maybe... and i do hate that thing where I get in the position to either give away or waste all the carby food in my kitchen and I thought I'd just finish it all in good time and then calmly, naturally, stop eating it when it was gone.

but oh, my aching belly and head and...

maybe a hot bath will solve problems. if i can't drink the water maybe the water can still help. hot baths are soothing for bad bellies, i should know. and the steam can still do my sinuses some good.

a few days off

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 22:55:43 GMT

i guess i broke it pretty hard yesterday. need carbs to recover from being sick. gonna be sick a couple more days prally. so i have bananas & orange juice & milk and bread in the house. it won't be bad, I promise.

broken but not insane

Sat, 14 Dec 2002 03:23:08 GMT

i got chicken noodle soup. but it wasn't all that bad for carbs, and i looked at all the chicken noodle soups in the store and got the one with the least carbs. and it really, really hit the spot. so. not gonna feel bad. really. and since i now have no excuse to go to a store, it's not going to get out of control, either.

everything else i got was fairly low-carb with the possible exception of yogurt.

i got some more chili fixin's so when i'm feeling a little better i can do that sometime. and actually the no-msg chicken broth i like for making seaweed soup (when i don't have some yummy spiced meat of some kind to make the broth from instead) was on sale 4/$2 so I bought 8 cans. and some seaweed. and i already had plenty of eggs. so, i'm set for soup even if that's all i eat for the next week. which hopefully it won't be. i can do solidish food at this point (had rutbreakfast this morning) but it's generally not what I want. i want more soup and tea and stuff. and i'm going to listen to my cravings. (but not always obey them.)

hmm... 216 and sick.

Fri, 13 Dec 2002 02:43:12 GMT

i'm posting here because I've been bad about carbs today.

Not terribly bad.

Just... not really up to eating solid food, so I've had more than my fair share of yogurt, and i had some sugarfree ice cream. two batches of soup, and oodles and oooooodles of hot tea, hot lemonade, etc.

cold & creamy is ok but cold water is difficult. hot is best and helps me for a while longer. but if i haven't just had something hot to drink... i think i'm a little more sick now than i was this morning.

i remember mom used to give me a teaspoon of brandy to help a cough. i don't really know how alcohol is for all this, but nyquil is full of it... but i spiked a hot lemonade with brandy and it seemed to help less (in terms of less lasting after i was done drinking) so i dunno if it dries me out or what? i would have a better time taking really good care of myself if i knew how it all worked.

and if i knew some lower-carb comfort foods. besides seaweed soup. it's no wonder my appetite is so bad. i had soup at 5am and didn't have more soup till about 8pm.

35 mins konamix

Mon, 09 Dec 2002 03:49:45 GMT

and it's time to shower and sleep.

216.5

Sun, 08 Dec 2002 15:41:03 GMT

okay, maybe I am melting away.

Looking back at this journal, I was about 218 when I started my job.

But I've been getting comments from coworkers "Look at you, skinny girl!" and "you look like you're melting away!" I got more "melting away" comments at the party Friday night.

but, says I, I've not lost a pound since I started here. "But you're losing inches!" says Carolyn. Yeah, yeah, I guess I am.

Looking back at this journal, I was right. Until now. It's all coming off at once. Even when I'm bad and have a few carbs. Granted, my thanksgiving weight was mostly water weight... but it's 10 lbs since thanksgiving!

Sometimes, it's just time for it to come off. After months of persistence, I finally get a little reward. I am 1 week from my 5 month anniversary at this job. To have not budged in all that time, despite being reallly good (until thanksgiving)... really does remind me of the 2.5 months off at the end of 2000, which took 7.5 months to recover from. this is, actually, worse, only it's not as big a weight gain. 3 weeks off, and more than 5 months- i still haven't seen the pre-Europe weight.

But I have been losing inches, that do not correspond to the last time I was at this weight. Thankfully, my size 16 really warm flannel-lined jeans from LL Bean fit now. 16's just a little tight, it's comfy for the jeans but my belly hangs over them so I need to have longish, loose sweaters. till the last couple pounds and it's okay now. My somewhat-form-fitting sweaters that I like and put on one morning to go to work and they were too... short.. fit again. I'm very happy to be back at size 16. Actually.. 16 is almost the same as 14W, and I was at 14W when I was at 203. So I'm back to my pre-europe size but not weight... which says that I've gained a lot of muscle. So, if I were measuring all this in body fat percentage instead of pounds, I would be ahead of where I was before Europe... right?

I am slightly sore this morning in the DDR muscles.

But, like I was after the 2.5 months off at the end of 2000, I won't feel right till I've passed my real low, of 203.
And then onward to the 200 mark.

another 15 mins konamix

Sun, 08 Dec 2002 02:05:03 GMT

well, max and konamix both keep decent records but i like the konamix engine a lot better for workouts. anyway i figure if i'm gonna go twice in a day i might as well spread it out.

so, yeah, i played this time because i was cold. and bored.

who'da thunk it, playing a video game because i'm bored?

217.. 30 mins DDRMAX.

Sun, 08 Dec 2002 00:30:32 GMT

Well, I sorta had cramps the whole way through but I had to play some DDR today-- because I was bad carb-wise. The Just Cherries, Just Strawberries, Just Blueberries, Just Pineapple, and Just Cranberries were calling me. Loudly. irresistably.

my tongue all hurts from eating dried fruit. and I have exceeded the capacity of my filter (which needs replacement, and I was sure I had some under the sink, and I found the under the sink box but it did not contain water filters, so I guess I'll hafta pick those up tomorrow along with the rest of the HD list.) so i'm drinking tap water (blech) hmm, where can i find some ice? prally on the deck.

30 mins DDR

Fri, 06 Dec 2002 00:50:17 GMT

i tried a martini tonight. it's a good drink, except after the first 2 or 3 sips.

anyway, i got incredible scores on DDR.

tho I'm confused... how do you get a D on Dynamite Rave when you had a combo of 188? musta got a boo in the very beginning.

i dunno what my weight is today. i'm not back in the habit of weighing every morning.

219.5?

Tue, 03 Dec 2002 13:45:46 GMT

I don't even need to dig out the ketostix. You don't lose 5.5 lbs in less than 48 hours like that.
Without being dehydrated... in fact I distinctly remember drinking 3 quarts of water on Sunday evening.

yayyyyy ketosis!

oh yeah... and the jeans I was wearing a little over a week ago never stopped fitting.

226... 22 minutes of DDRMAX.

Sun, 01 Dec 2002 18:06:55 GMT

okay. i haven't had much protein today, but i'm still declaring myself back on the diet. as of... whenever i finished the lemonade, which is the last thing i had, except for this here water.

I got pretty much everything on my "cheat" list except for a grilled cheese sandwich, and since I don't even know where in town to get one, it's not likely to be a major temptation in the near future. had a ... thanksgiving. did enjoy the oyster stuffing. had my egg nog for the year (there's still some left. igrokme can have it, since he likes that stuff. he just has to come visit (hint, hint))

even if lowcarbing doesn't beat back this bug i've got, it will help me breathe at night. between the asthma and the acid reflux, my quality of sleep was lacking.

DDRMAX is a little harder. the orion mix seems harder, and the freeze arrows are definitely a new twist on things-- because if you're not careful, you can get twisted up by stepping on a freeze arrow and then not being able to reach the others (without pivoting around so you can't see the screen... so no matter what you do, you have to plan ahead sometime).

218!

Sun, 24 Nov 2002 07:19:00 GMT

which, unfortunately, is also the time. :)

Seriously, tho. Carolyn, at work, who isn't generally especially nice to me, made me feel totally awful about borrowing her extra chair... walked up to my cube this week and just started off.. "Look at you, skinny girl!" I gave her this "who, me?" and she's all, "You can't tell?" And I'm all, "I haven't lost much weight at all since I came here. I still haven't lost the weight I put on when I went to Europe this summer." She says "But you've lost inches! Look at your jeans!" "Well, yeah, i've had to buy jeans." (Actually, I bought a new pair of jeans when my current usual was starting to embarrass me with its fraying edges and then became my official painting jeans. The new pair was 18 relaxed when I wanted 18 average, so I knew it wouldn't last long... and I bought a 16 relaxed, too, which did not fit when I bought it but I figured would save me a trip. I wore the 18 relaxed the other day and changed out of it to the smaller pair at my earliest opportunity. Good thing is, I have about 5 pairs of jeans at size 16 regular... just need to get there. Probably pretty close by now. Of course... I'm breaking the diet Thursday so I should keep my 18 relaxed handy.) She continued telling me that it really shows, and I thanked her (yeah, still with an umm thank you that seems like she landed from somewhere), and she parted with some comment about how now I just need to start showing off my legs. to which i responded that it's too cold. (and then there's always: show me a skirt that can be worn with comfortable shoes. or that i am trained not to go to work in a skirt without hose and i hate hose, which nullifies its one slight advantage that when you wanted to wear shorts to work because of the heat but can't because of the formality thing, that a skirt is a nice alternative to have.)

Actually, the problem I had been having (especially with tops lately) was that I've had the opposite of that body dysphoria thing... been putting something on that's too small that I really expected would fit, and then been disappointed when it doesn't. There was a lime green sweater I almost wore the day after I painted the green room a similar shade of green... and it came up short. When I'm laying down, my belly feels smaller than my ribs, (it isn't when I'm vertical) and that's just such a nice change, that I expect to be getting into clothes that... still don't work. So... I keep being unpleasantly surprised when it just doesn't work. I feel like I did before I went to Europe, I feel high on being in great shape, and little physical signs of doing really well... then being dashed somewhat by finding reality not in line at all with my expectations. It really does remind me some of when i was on the fat side and the 26s in the store just didn't fit. except that behind it is feeling *good* and really believing that 14 will fit because I feel so good!

I think it's got to be a weight distribution problem. The jeans really are falling down. I kept rolling up the cuffs, and then hiking them up, and finally had to get into a different pair. Put them on again when I felt horribly bloated... and they still do it. And the pounds do not agree with the inches below... which explains why the pounds do not agree with the inches above, either. Gotta go somewhere. They can't all be going into muscle.

219... wha? yeah, 219.

Sun, 03 Nov 2002 14:36:39 GMT

ok, it's just that the last time i posted i hadn't seen a change from around 224 in awhile, and i was trudging around and getting discouraged... and i was very happy to see... what was it, 220.5? and then suddenly another pound and a half?

of course this means i can report that housework has made me lose 5 lbs. sarah will like that.

hey, i don't mind it either.

i did notice that i was in the size 16 suit last night, comfortably. i was gonna try both on but i started with the 16 and it was right so i stuck with that.

massive, massive, horrible headache. ugh. caffeine, maybe? food would be good, too.

220.5... 3 weeks at painting?

Sat, 02 Nov 2002 13:52:22 GMT

Haven't posted here much, mostly because a) I haven't DDR'd since I bought a house, and b) I haven't had a lower than the 223-225 range weight to post in a while. Yep, indeedy, last entry here was 10/7. Settlement on the house was 10/11.

Well, today I'm feeling lighter. Yesterday I had ketosis-related lack of appetite, which i mentioned in the main journal, along with comment from Ed this week that I have keto-breath. This morning when I woke up and stretched, it's like doing all this work has made such a physical difference that instead of "streeeeeeetch" I'm thinking "what are these hard things attached to all my bones?" Oh, those are muscles that have been *used* recently.

so i weighed in, and it's indeed lighter. I've kinda not been weighing in because I've kinda broken the habit, and because it's been depressing to get on and not see it go down. Sometimes I know that'll just get me down. And usually, I can feeel it when there's weight loss, anyway. So, I check when the news is likely to be good. As it was this morning. :)

224 and 35 DDR minutes... i think...

Mon, 07 Oct 2002 11:32:57 GMT

Last time i checked my time it was 31:27. then another song... 3 minutes or so? And I had to stretch between songs... bent down, put my hands on the ground (can't do that with knees straight, but it still felt good to stretch)... and the playstation acted weird!

then i realized i must have put my hands exactly on the select and start buttons... which when pressed together, reset the machine.

Oh, I tried to get started again for a few minutes, but couldn't get back into it. ohwell.

also, 35 minutes DDR time is about 45 some wall clock time. i should move the kitchen timer permanently to the entertainment center... especially since i need a new thermometer timer thingie. then i can more consistently do everything by wall clock time, which is better.

225, DDR for 30 mins

Sat, 28 Sep 2002 15:38:18 GMT

Ugh. the weight is not going the way i want, and i'm beginning to get really depressed and want donuts.

mostly, i know, i need to get exercise. this is the first time i've DDR'd since i hurt my back... except for a few minutes at Dave's place last saturday at game night.

So, trying to make that right. Really. Any time now.

Should get some ketostix (the ones I have long ago expired, i dunno why i ever buy 100-packs because the 50s expire before they're used up. when they've expired, they simply don't work. Take a strip from an old bottle and one from a new bottle, and the old one will say you're not in ketosis while the new one will say you are) and find out if I need to anything drastic dietarily.

Also, might start putting down every little thing I eat in this space to see if I'm actually doing more carbs than I think I am. It would be a pity if my last stint away from the diet changed me so that my carb limits are even lower than they already were. but if that's the way it is, then that's the way it is.

221.5... woo!

Tue, 17 Sep 2002 16:37:50 GMT

but dinner last night consisted of three Tums, about 1/3 of a glass of soymilk, and a slice of cheese.

I didn't get any fruit or yogurt on my last trip to safeway... this was deliberate, because i think these things are holding me back, that I've been too careless with the carbs and that's why i'm not losing. i mean, if i were exercising (which I should do again, really) then I would have the ability to take more carbs without having any troubles... but plain high fat yogurt doesn't come in anything less than 2 lbs and when it's around it disappears in like 4 days. which is bad. I hate to give it up, but there's a little consolation in that I still have my cream. and i have re-introduced a little bit of alcohol. in fact this weekend hit the liquor store to get some.

right now i'm having appetite problems. and a little nausea. tums takes care of the nausea so it's definitely an acid problem.

it's lunchtime, and i don't want the chicken that i packed.

a lot of last night's crashing was due to not eating tho. i did have a 5g low-carb granola thing during the break in rehearsal, and a few nuts at work in the afternoon, but that was it between big-ass lunch and 11:00.

on the other hand, appetite problems are a good sign wrt the diet, i may be on the right track again.

chicken and beef being my staples, and i haven't been in the mood for chicken at all... it's kind of rough. if i'd packed one of those little 3 oz. blocks of cream cheese, though, that i have at home, i would have gone and gotten it and eaten it right now.

just need to get out of the chicken and beef rut.

hmmm. maybe it's time for some sashimi.

of course with my belly so unhappy the last couple of days, leaving the rut seems risky. but i can't just eat beef & eggs & cheese & soymilk...